Café for the dead curious

A cup of tea, a slice of cake and candid conversations about death are all on the menu for a trio of friends.

Corinne McBride, Sue Thoms and Jos Rossell are starting a Death Café in Blenheim.

They hope by joining the global social franchise they can bring people together for helpful conversations about the dying journey and death.

Death Cafés already operate in New Zealand, but this is Marlborough’s first.

Corinne,  a trained hospice volunteer, says she first heard a podcast about the idea two years ago.

“I thought it was interesting,” she explains.

“I don’t know much about dying and I’m getting closer to it.

“I moved to Blenheim with my NZ husband and children leaving the rest of my family on the other side of the world and have not been able to accompany them at the end of their lives.”

Death Cafes have spread quickly across Europe, North America and Australasia.  There are now almost 20,000 in 93 countries since September 2011.

The objective is to increase awareness of death so people can make the most of their lives, Jos explains.

The child psychotherapist says she was immediately intrigued when she heard about the idea from Corinne.

“People tend to think they’re too young, but it happens to everyone. There are no rules, no agendas, we are just there as facilitators.”

The discussion group is open to everyone from all walks of lives, ages, genders and religions.

For former nurse Sue, dying has been part of living. But she understands that is not always the case.

“I was 16 years old when I sat with my first patient who passed. Even before that I’d experienced quite a lot of loss, it’s always around.

“It’s the same with grieving, I usually say you learn to build your life around the loss.”

While the Death Café monthly meet ups are not for grief counselling, people who have experienced loss are welcome too.

“Dying is done elsewhere [not always at home] for quite a while now; it’s not part of living as it used to be,” Jos explains.

“We work so hard not to die but how do we learn about the journey? We need to understand more about it.”

Corinne says conversations will hopefully unfold naturally for those who come along.

“I hope that people who come along for the first time will leave being more comfortable with death and dying.

“Everyone is welcome.”

The Death Café will be held at the Speights Ale House, in the alcove, between 7 and 8.15pm on the first Wednesday of every month. The next meeting is on February 5. There is no cost.

To find out more  visit deathcafe.com or call Jos on: 579 4771, email Corinne at [email protected] or [email protected]