Family violence – some warning signs

ADRIENNE MATTHEWS

It is Women’s Refuge month. Not only do we have an appalling rate of family violence in this country, but most of it goes unreported. That means there is an awful lot of suffering going on under our noses and we, the community, need to do our bit to help those who are finding it hard to help themselves.

People have been asking how to recognise the signs that there is abuse happening, so I talked to Women’s Refuge Social Worker Ashley to find out.

“Common signs are a change in the way people react with friends and family. They may make regular excuses not to see them. Isolation is one of the many signs of coercive, manipulating behaviour in a relationship,” explains Ashley.

“It strips people of their identity and self-worth. Other signals are that they don’t appear to have their own bank account or money to spend; their partner is putting them down, calling them names and threatening their children and pets. Jealousy and anger are other danger signs as is threatening to kill either their partner or themselves. A change their children’s behaviour can also be a sign.”

Physical violence includes hitting, choking, pushing, slapping, burning, kicking, shouting and forcing sex on a partner. “Strangulation is a key warning sign,” adds Ashley. “There is increasing evidence of a direct correlation between strangulation and homicide. Look out for injuries that don’t appear to have an accidental cause.”

“Courageous conversations can be a good place to start,” says Ashley. “If you are worried about someone, gently ask if they are okay and offer your support. They may not be ready to talk but acknowledging anything they do say is important. You may become a vital key to them getting help.”

In an emergency, call the police and Women’s Refuge.