The Walk of Hope

Life has a way of changing in an instant. For Bary Neal, that moment came nine years ago when police arrived at his workplace to deliver the news no parent should ever hear. His 22-year-old son, Matt, had taken his own life.

Adrienne Matthews

The shock was indescribable. Matt, a young man full of life, humour, kindness, and surrounded by friends, had given no clear sign of the pain he was carrying. “Over 700 people came to his funeral,” Bary recalls. “People still stop me in the street to share stories about him, to tell me how much he meant to them and the impact he had on their lives.”

But behind the warm memories and laughter lies the reality of mental illness, an often invisible struggle that can bring even the brightest souls into darkness. “Mental illness is a horrible and often hidden disease,” says Bary. “It warps your mind until you believe you’re a burden, that the people you love would be better off without you. We’ve lost too many people to this, and as a community, we have to say enough is enough.”

Just three months after Matt’s passing, Bary turned his grief into purpose. He launched Hopewalk, a suicide awareness and prevention initiative with a simple but powerful mission: to talk about suicide, remember those lost, and support those left behind.

This year, on Saturday, September 13 at 11am, the community will gather once again at Seymour Square for a 40-minute walk of unity, remembrance, and hope. It’s a moment to reflect, to connect, and to show those who are struggling that they are not alone.

“Hopewalk has changed how we talk about mental health in this town,” Bary says. “Nine years ago, suicide was a taboo subject. People were afraid to talk about it. Now, people are opening up, checking in on one another, and realising that it’s okay not to be okay.”

The walk itself is only part of the event. This year’s gathering will again feature guest speaker Rob Mokaraka, an actor and mental health advocate who survived a suicide attempt and now uses his story to inspire others. Live music will set an uplifting tone with performances from Cass and Athena Baker.

The Rapid Relief Team (RRT) is generously supporting the event once again, providing free gourmet burgers, barista coffee, and bottled water for everyone who attends. “This is a completely free event,” says Bary. “No tickets, no pressure. It’s just people coming together to support each other, to heal, and to remember.”

Each year, a minute of silence is held before the walk begins, in memory of those who have lost their lives to suicide. For Bary, it is the most powerful moment of the day. “We remember those we’ve lost, but also honour them by living,” he says. “They wouldn’t want us to be miserable forever. We can celebrate the way they lived, even while mourning how they left.”

The event continues to grow. Last year, more than 600 people turned out, from young children to elderly locals. “To see that support means everything,” says Bary. “It makes all the effort worthwhile. Without people showing up, we wouldn’t have the same impact.”

Bary has personally spoken to individuals whose lives were changed, and even saved, because of Hopewalk. “I’ve had people walk up to me in the supermarket and say, ‘Mate, if it wasn’t for Hopewalk, I wouldn’t be here.’ That’s why I do it. From the beginning, I said if I could help even one person, it would be worth it.”

This year’s event may mark a turning point, as Bary contemplates stepping back due to ongoing health issues. “It could be my last as organiser,” he admits, “but I hope the community continues to take this on.”

At its core, Hopewalk is not just about suicide prevention. It’s about compassion, connection, and community. It’s about being there for one another, whether that’s through a daily check-in, a kind word, or simply showing up.

“There are little things we can all do,” Bary says. “When I was at my lowest, friends checked in every day. That helped me survive. Random acts of kindness, volunteering, and just listening are all things can mean the world to someone who’s struggling.”

He adds a powerful reminder: “Never allow your history to dictate your future. Everyone has rough times but by talking, by walking together and by showing love, we can bring people back from the edge. That’s what Hopewalk is all about.”

So bring your friends, your family, your team and workmates and, most importantly, bring your heart. Whether you’re grieving, supporting, or simply wanting to show up for a better, more compassionate Marlborough, Hopewalk is your opportunity to be part of something that truly matters.

Help is available:

Need to talk?
Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.

Suicide Crisis Helpline:
0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Available 24/7

Depression Helpline:
0800 111 757 or text 4202
Available 24/7

Lifeline:
0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or text 4357 (HELP)
Available 24/7

Youthline:
0800 376 633 or text 234

What’s Up:
0800 942 8787
(11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)