Sponsored: Every Life Counts: Baby Loss Awareness Week

There are few families who haven’t experienced the heartbreak of losing a baby within their whānau. Every year in New Zealand, more than 700 babies die between 20 weeks’ gestation and their first birthday, while over 10,000 pregnancies end in early loss before 20 weeks.

Adrienne Matthews

No matter how long ago it happened, the memory of that precious life and the experience of losing them never truly fades.

From October 9 to 15, communities around the world observe Baby Loss Awareness Week, a time for reflection, connection, and remembrance. It offers bereaved parents and families the chance to come together, if they wish, and honour their babies who were gone too soon.

The week culminates on October 15, International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, with the moving Global Wave of Light ceremony. At 7pm, people around the world light candles in memory of their babies, creating a wave of light and love that begins here in Aotearoa and travels across the globe.

This year, Marlborough District Council will be lighting up the fountain in Seymour Square on October 15 with pink, purple and blue to commemorate Baby Loss Awareness Week and the Global Wave of Light.

Sands is a national, parent-run, non-profit organisation providing free support for families who have experienced the death of a baby at any stage, and it has a branch in Marlborough who will be holding their 1st Remembrance Walk, Sunday October 12 at 2pm, meeting at Cloudy Bay Funeral Services.

The Marlborough annual Baby Loss Service will take place at Cloudy Bay Funeral Services on Wednesday October 15 from 6.30pm.

Marlborough Sands (Pregnancy, Baby and Infant Loss Support) volunteer Sandra Sangster has been involved with Sands for over a decade. “I joined after losing my twin boys in 2008 at 24 weeks pregnant,” she shares. “Our firstborn, Mason, lived for nine days and his brother, Cole, for forty. Sands was a lifeline for me. It meant knowing I wasn’t alone and that someone understood. Everyone’s experience is different, but there’s a shared understanding that only those who have walked this road can offer.”

That empathy and connection are at the heart of Sands Marlborough’s mission. Volunteers, most of whom are bereaved parents themselves, offer time, compassion, and understanding. “We’re not counsellors,” Sandra explains, “but we’re here to listen, to acknowledge, and to help people create special memories of their babies. We offer phone support, one on one catch ups and monthly support meetings on the last Wednesday of every month at Cloudy Bay Funerals from 6-8pm.”

Sands Marlborough supports anyone affected by the death of a baby whether it’s parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, and even health professionals. People can approach the group directly or be referred by midwives, social workers, or doctors.

The group also provides care baskets for bereaved families, containing small but meaningful items such as prem and newborn gowns, bonnets, knitted booties, photo frames, candles, and hand lotion. Donations of these items or lidded baskets are always appreciated and can be dropped off at the Marlborough Weekly office, 52 Scott Street, Blenheim.

One local woman who has connected with Sands says it doesn’t matter how long ago the loss occurred; the support is always there. “Even decades later, it helps to talk with someone who understands. Some people have had multiple miscarriages and still need support.”

A young local mother who recently lost her baby describes the support she received as “invaluable.” She encourages anyone facing similar heartbreak to reach out when they feel ready. “It’s been such a relief to be able to share my experience.”

Sands Marlborough provides a wide range of resources and services for both families and health professionals, including support packs, funded by the Ministry of Health, with practical information for families after a baby’s death; Certificates of Life for babies born before 20 weeks’ gestation, ensuring their lives are formally acknowledged; memory items such as baskets, baby clothing, and inkless print kits to create keepsakes; phone and online support, and regular local meetings where families can share, listen, and heal in a safe space.

Although Sands has no paid staff and receives no government funding beyond specific resource packs, its impact is profound and built entirely on the compassion and dedication of volunteers. As Sandra says, “We believe in love, listening, and acknowledging every baby’s life, no matter their gestation or how they died. Every life counts.”

For more information or to connect with the group, visit Sands Marlborough on Facebook or see the national website at www.sands.org.nz.

Financial donations are very welcome and can be made to Sands Marlborough, bank account 06-0601-0725920-00.