Sharing is caring for grief group

A heartbroken widower whose wife died unexpectedly is hoping to help other people suffering the loss of a loved one.

Chris Pearson lost his wife Jayne, 61, in March to renal failure after a battle with cancer.

The former aircraft engineer who works at RNZAF Base Woodbourne, says he believes a delay in treatment ultimately led to Jayne’s death.

But for now, the father of two wants to concentrate on trying to heal and hopefully help others.

“Honestly, I feel like there isn’t much out there to help. I was thinking how I might be able to help myself and then thought other people might benefit too.

“It [grief] comes in waves; you don’t really know what’s happening.”

Jayne was diagnosed with cancer of the vulva early last year. She underwent six weeks of chemotherapy and radiation.

Told to call back in six weeks to book a scan, the pair become worried when they didn’t hear anything.

Three months passed and Jayne developed severe pain in her groin and she struggled to breathe as the cancer spread.

Chris says the delay in getting a scan meant the fact the cancer had developed was missed.

The family are planning on taking their concerns over Jayne’s treatment to Te Whatu Ora.

“I looked at her and thought what have they done to my poor girl,” Chris says.

“Yes, things can and do go wrong but what she went through is ridiculous. It won’t bring Jayne back but it might stop someone else going through the same thing.”

The couple first met 40 years ago and have been married for 37 years.

Originally from Christchurch, Jayne and Chris moved to Blenheim seven years ago.

The couple had bought a motorhome and had plans to travel more. Chris says he will keep the bus that meant so much to them.

Talking about Jayne brings a smile to his face, but tears are never far away, he says.

He thinks it will help sharing his loss with other people and vice versa.

“I’d like to try and organise something where we can all meet up and have a coffee and a wee chat.

“Anyone who has lost someone is welcome, daughters, wives, parents. Everyone is welcome and we can all sit down together and talk,”

After putting a post on social meeting to gauge interest, Chris was overwhelmed with the response, with hundreds giving his idea the thumbs up.

Now Chris is on the look out for a suitable venue where people can catch up.

He hopes people will come forward with ideas for a meeting place.

“This whole ordeal has left us shell shocked; how it all fell part so quickly.

“Talking about Jayne helps and if we could have a group that meets once a week on a Saturday or Sunday maybe, I think others would benefit too.

“Hopefully this will get going and we can all get some help from each other.”

Anyone with any ideas about where the group could meet can email [email protected] and all messages will be passed on to Chris and his family.